I haven’t written here (or really anywhere) for over two weeks; for a variety of reasons, but largely because I have simply had trouble finding myself in a space that has been willing to write. The effort I’ve been able to muster has been going towards beginning to journal semidaily again. This is a practice that I’m incredibly grateful and proud that I have been able to reestablish for my mental health’s sake, but it ultimately isn’t where I want to leave everything. I want there to be a lot more for me to have written. That’s a major reason I established this space, and I’d like to become better at using it well. But I also understand that there are weeks and months where it isn’t viable or realistic or healthy to force something to come from this space.
I’ve also been fasting from lunch for the last 18 days. I did it as part of the congregation of Valle Community Church; I did it for a number of reasons, but primarily I did it to see what kind of growth and mindfulness it would grow in me. Today was the last day. It was an interesting experience; I think I generally impressed myself with how disciplined I was with it, and how disciplineentered other aspects of my life in the process. However... the nutritional deficit was incredibly apparent. I struggled to think straight and to have any kind of energy in every afternoon, and it began really affecting my sleep. Which is why I bring it up--I’m hoping that a large part of why I haven’t felt ready to write anything is because my body just wasn’t able to keep up with every task that I would normally tackle in a day. I’m really hoping to be able to start getting purposely written pieces out again soon. I receive an incredible amount of joy and purpose from doing so. Words are unequivocally vital to my life.